Q & A with the Parents of UnstoppableKatya

Today, I sat down individually and questioned my parents on the facts of life and their deepest opinions, to perhaps get some unanswered suspicions as to why I have become the person I am today!

What tells you when a child is responsible enough to be trusted?
Dad: I suppose when my child does what is expected and what they say they are going to do over a certain amount of time; trust builds. I trust my daughter, because she does what she says she is going to do, and doesn't lie.
Mom: When they don't do anything "outlandish" or dishonest.

What was the most often disagreement or argument topic between your mother and you growing up?
Dad: Probably homework.
Mom: She wanted me to talk more than I was open to, or I was a more reserved person than she was.

What was the most often disagreement or argument topic between your father and you growing up?
Dad: That was more about what he wanted me to do--he had some pretty unrealistic expectations of me, and he was a very quiet communicator so it was hard to know what he wanted all the time. I couldn't figure out what to do, so I couldn't make him happy.
Mom: The times I wanted to do things he wouldn't let me do.

Which was your most important intimate relationship in high school and why did it end?
Dad: There was this one girlfriend I had, in 10th grade. She decided not to go out with me anymore, so that was hard to deal with, because I never got a straight answer as to why she broke up with me. By the time we were in 12th grade, we got over the harsh feelings and we became friends. The last time I talked to her was at a high school reunion I attended with your mom.
Mom:There was the boyfriend I had in 12th grade. I went away to College, and met other individuals, so I broke up with him. I realized that I didn't want to be tied down to one person--it wasn't that I didn't like him, I just didn't want to be tied down.

What kind of things get you the angriest and why?
Dad: Myself making a mistake that I feel I shouldn't have made--I get angry at myself quite often. If I knew it was wrong beforehand, then I get angry at my failure to see that what I was doing was going to lead to a mistake. If I didn't see it, it's not that big of a deal. We all make mistakes.
Mom: Things that aren't fair, for example: in the workplace, or sometimes I get angry when I feel like I can't get a word in edgewise within a conversation. Also, when my views are not being acknowledged.

Who was your best friend in high school and what did they teach you?
Dad: There were two guys I was pretty close to in the neighborhood - Mark and Larry. Larry was crazy, so he taught me not to be crazy like him--he was wild! He was funny, but man, some of the stuff we ended up doing, we were lucky to live through. Mark and his father taught me how to fish... they were into hunting and fishing, so I would go with them and have a good time. We went for years.
Mom: My best friend was a girl named Annie. We would hangout a lot, and part of what she taught me was how to be friends with an individual who came from such a different background than myself.

How would you describe mom/dad the first time you saw her/him?
Dad: I thought she was good lookin', smart, and funny. She was athletic, and enjoyed playing baseball. I was drawn to her and wanted to know her more.
Mom: Handsome! He seemed nice and laidback. He was considerate, interesting, among other things.

Before you got married, did you want a marriage like your parents?
Dad: In some ways, yes, in some ways, no. I wanted a loving, caring, and long-lasting marriage, yes. However, I wanted one with more communication than they had. More yes than no, but I am still grateful for the differences in mom and I's relationship. Different times and circumstances change a lot.
Mom: Yea. My parents had a stable, long-lasting relationship, and they did not fight. They got along well, and it wasn't just that their relationship was stable--our family was stable. We stayed in one house our entire lives, and I envisioned that for my future family.

Were you ever bullied or teased as a child? If so, for what reasons?
Dad: Oh yeah. Probably because I wasn't too athletic. Back then, if you were a boy and weren't athletic, it was pretty much a guarantee that you got picked on.
Mom: My brothers might have teased me some, but I can't remember particularly why. I was the youngest, and I was the girl. People in school never made fun of me.

What traits do you value the most in a woman/man? What traits don't you like?
Dad: Independence, intelligence, honesty, caring, humorous, hard-working. Dishonesty is the worst, along with vanity and shallowness.
Mom: Honesty, calmness, good listener, humorous, kindness, thoughtfulness, etc. Aggressiveness is the worst, along with loud-mouths, egotistical, conceited, and/or self-centered men.

What traits do you hope I find in my future for my own partner? What traits would you disapprove of?
Dad: I hope you find someone that is caring, trustworthy, funny, honest, intelligent. I want you to find what I found. Anybody who is going to be dishonest or not trustworthy, or hurt you, I wouldn't appreciate. Anybody who hurts you physically, or mentally. Somebody who lies to you, etc.
Mom: The same positive traits I mentioned before. Any kind of violent, aggressive behavior is not okay. Dishonest behavior, as well.

How is my personality the same or different from when I was younger?
Dad: You are still very sensitive, still intelligent (highly so), and you're still funny. You used to be more outdoorsy--much less so now to the point that it's noticeable. You would run, play, jump, climb trees, hike, etc. You're still anxious in new situations, although you have improved a lot. You are more willing to take risks to this day than ever before.
Mom: You're much more outgoing, with a lesser need for "attachment" or dependency. You are independent. You are very outspoken, more so than you were back then. Those are the main things.

What is your personal opinion on body art, such as tattoos? Classy or trashy?
Dad: I wouldn't say it's "classy", and a lot of it seems silly, but I wouldn't say "trashy" either. Somewhere in the middle.
Mom: I've seen very little body art that to me is visually appealing. I don't understand why people get body art, for the most part, at least extensively.

Have I lived up to your greatest expectations of me for the age I am now? What were those expectations, in terms of moral code and the way I conduct myself.
Dad: You have met, if not exceeded my expectations, in terms of your moral behavior. I think you're a very honest and sincere person. You don't go out and do drugs and engage in other risk taking behaviors just for the thrill of it. I appreciate that; it saves me a lot of anxiety.
Mom: Yes! My expectations, or more so "hopes", were that you would be a good student, have good friends, be happy with yourself, be looking forward to College and the future, and be independent--the level you are right now without being isolated from your parents. One of the things that exceeded my hopes was your morals and your non-interest in substance use.

In what ways do you think you were different from me at my age? The same?
Dad: We're both kind of shy, I suppose. Both more reserved in some situations. If you're among friends and family, you're very outspoken, and to be able to go to authority, or community meetings and speak out publicly, that's amazing for 16-17--that's the great gift you have that I didn't. I had a paying job, which is, I guess, less popular these days, and a lot of the jobs we had, your generation doesn't. You do a lot of volunteer and community service, and I didn't. I love to read novels, and am not that technologically advanced or interested in what you do, blogging and whatnot. I loved the newspaper, and was very interested in the space program, and the Vietnam war. We are both interested in history. I was into autoshop technology, and was never as fluidly artistic as you. I loved drafting, architectural drawing, and mechanics.
Mom: I didn't interact with my parents very much. I did more group activities with friends and went to parties, while you enjoy calming, solo activities. I was interested in extracurricular activities. We are both good students, do our homework assignments without much nagging, and I think our need for privacy is very similar, even though you do share a lot and interact with me--liking that feeling of independence. You are College-bound, and not naturally athletic--as was I. I did hangout with my boyfriend a lot, and we cooked meals together like you do with yours.

Who was most strict growing up? Mom or dad?
Dad: Probably my dad. I could get away with more stuff talking to my mom.
Mom: My dad.

Did you collect anything when you were younger? What?
Dad: When I was in Cub Scouts, I made a coin collection. My biggest collection was my books, and still is.
Mom: Sort of. I liked stuffed animals, and ceramic horses.

What did you want to be when you were in high school? Did you end up changing your major through college? Where did you come up with these ideas?
Dad: I thought in high school that I'd like to be a high school history teacher, but then I started college, and once I started my sociology course, I liked it better than history. I am now teaching college-level sociology. I guess history is part of sociology--they are cousins, so to speak.
Mom: When I was in high school, I didn't know for sure what I was going to do, or what I even wanted to do, but when I went to College, I was in Natural Resource Management and then it changed to Environmental Science. I am now an environmental scientist/supervisor.