Something I have never significantly discussed on my blog before is my self image and esteem. I have written "how to be confident" posts, but not anything about how I view myself.

This post is titled "Letting Myself Go" because I have heard countless comments on my weight over the past couple years of high school, from anonymous people and petty gossip. A bit surprised? I was, too. I am not the skinniest person on this planet, and damn proud I am not a size 2 in jeans. I am not perfect, and I am blogging right now to let you all know that I know it.

I am speaking up for the voiceless, abused teenage girls everywhere that hear comments on their physical appearance from classmates and passerbys, instead of details about the gorgeous insides of their souls.

I am slightly above, yet still in the realm of average weight for my height and age--I am not obese, nor fat, only a mere bit overweight, and I work to change that every day when I get moving, get off the couch and dance, do yoga, or walk for a while. To me, a fat person is a danger to themselves, eating junk food all day, piling on the pounds and toxins. The unattractiveness of this person is rooted in the ways they disregard their body's health, but their emotional unattractiveness is caused by deeper reasons and should not be measured by their weight.

I ADORE eating and fattening my belly up, as most people who know me well could vouch for, although, I only eat a healthy diet with a sugary sweet about once a week, along with a few Starbucks spread across a couple weeks. Because of my diet restrictions, I do not consume Cow's milk, causing my stomach to be happy, and (bonus!) lowering my calorie intake to much less by not asking for whole milk or whipped cream at Starbucks.

If any of you are asking yourselves, "Man, then how does she have any flab on her whatsoever?", the answer can be found in my heritage. My Caucasian relatives, in a nutshell, are quite heavy and didn't take good care of themselves for periods in their lives, and my other half of lineage just so happens to be Hispanic, with heavier people in their lineage, too! While the stereotype of "chubby Mexicans" might not always prove to be the case, I do have a risk for gaining on the pounds because of my genetic makeup.

Ever since I was young, I enriched myself in positive body image and a high self-esteem--believing I am beautiful, sexy, hot, cute in any shape or form, and while I am not the perfect girl, I am the perfect Kathryn. There are numerous girls in this world with my name, probably more than most any other female name, but there is only one of me, and no matter how kooky or crazy I am, I am the best form of me that there is.

I know it's a cliche, but no matter your size, you should feel happy with your body, and if you are not, you need to work on your body for YOU, not for anybody else.

Photo credit: Google Images

As an update for my 79 Thing's "Form an Exercise Routine" post, I figured I would share what has been trimming the knooks and crannies for me lately.

Back in January, I wrapped my hair into a high ponytail and strapped on my sneakers, popping a water bottle into my bag, and driving off to the Gym. For the first time, I had a set mind on burning calories and forming a regular Gym routine.

The four equipment pieces above are what I use the most in my workouts, unless I am taking an occasional hour-long yoga class on Sunday mornings with mom. The treadmill, abdominals, bicycle, and rower. I love to spend at least 25 minutes on these each week day, sometimes half an hour if I am free.

Having a consistent workout schedule has been wonderful and has kept me refreshed in the worst of days. It is a huge stress reliever for me, and very helpful to get some of the "down time" I need to read for classes that I don't typically find interest in.




This post is part of the category "79 Things". Click to see the complete series of 79 Things.

Well, the first cold of the year hit me. Not just any cold: THE FLU! After a wonderful weekend in Bellingham, Washington, my body decided it had put up with enough of the every day routine stressors. I wanted to provide a few of the product names and tips and tricks I have discovered to be very effective in speeding up the process of a lingering cold and painful moments.

A cold wash-cloth is a must have. When I'm sick, I like to have numerous blankets that I can switch on and off depending upon my temperature, and I always remember to keep that thermometer close by! Personally, I cannot stand Airborne, so I usually consume a couple Chinese herbal, homeopathic remedies when I feel the cold symptoms coming on.

I love a new lozenge "Chloraseptic", which may not be the most pleasant taste, but numbs your sore throat for nearly the entire day, with the help of Cold-Eeze, and regular lozenges (personal favorite brand: Ricola, flavor Honey Herb). Other things to help a sore throat? The infamous tea with lemon juice and honey, popsicles, and my all-time favorite: hot Thai coconut broth soup!

[3] Neck Rolls

Sit with your back straight, head upright.

Fig. 1

• Exhale and drop your head forward, chin toward chest.
  
  Fig. 2
  
• Slowly roll your left ear over your left shoulder. Hold for a few breaths, allowing the right side of your neck to release.
  
  Fig. 3
  
• Slowly drop your chin toward your chest and roll your right ear over your right shoulder. Hold, allowing the left side of your neck to release.
• Repeat once on both sides.
• Be sure your breath remains steady and your pace slow.
  

Benefits: Lubricates and stretches the neck joints, relieves residual tension in the neck and shoulders, and firms the chin and throat.

Sit comfortably with eyes closed. Exhale and inhale deeply a few times. Breathe naturally while you focus on the following idea:

"Yoga is a deep well into which we can tap, drawing forth whatever we need to bring ourselves into wholeness and balance."

Ask yourself what will bring wholeness and balance to your life. Wait for an image or an idea to arise. Be still with that vision or thought for a while. Breathe.

Benefits: Slows the mind, reduces blood pressure and heart rate, calms entire being, promotes peace and serenity, and brings you back to the present.

[2] Shrugs and Circles

Fig. 1

• Sit in a comfortable position. 
• Bring both shoulders up tightly towards your ears. Exaggerate the shrug and accentuate the holding.
• Release quickly, letting your shoulders drop.
• Repeat a few times.
  
   
• Fig. 2
  
  • Bend both elbows and lightly place your fingers on top of your shoulders.
  • Rotate your elbows as though drawing small circles on the walls.
  • Circle 5 times in one direction; reverse and make 5 circles the other way.
  • Drop your arms. Breathe and focus on how relaxed your neck and shoulders feel.
    

Benefits: Improves flexibility in the upper back, shoulders, and arms, increases strength in upper arms, and releases tension in neck and shoulder area.

Heart Meditation

Sit comfortably, eyes closed. Bring thumbs and forefingers together to form a triangle over your heart center.

Exhale. Inhale through your nose for a count of 8. Exhale fully through your mouth.

Repeat for several rounds. Lower your hands to your sides and ask yourself the question:

"If my heart were planted, what would it grow?"

Sit with this question for a while. Breathe deeply as you visualize an answer or an image. Focus on the visualization. Breathe.

Benefits: Slows the mind, reduces blood pressure and heart rate, calms the entire being, promotes peace and serenity, and brings you back to the present.

[1] Knee Hug

• Lie on your back
• Bring both knees to your chest
• Encircle your legs with both arms and grasp your forearms or wrists. Lightly squeeze your legs.
• Gently roll from side to side, massaging your back. Move your head in the same direction as roll.
• For a variation, place your hands on your knees, part your knees slightly, and make slow circles with them, massaging hips and sacrum into the floor.
• Allow your movements to be slow and lazy. Keep your head on the floor at all times.
  
  Benefits: Stretches the lower back muscles, massages the entire back, restores energy throughout the body, gently massages the lower abdominal organs.

Meditation of Intent

This meditation combines three intentions to develop a strong and supple body, a clear mind, and a spirit filled equally with power, love, and wisdom.

Sit comfortably. Close your eyes.
Inhale and repeat silently:
"My body is strong and supple."


Exhale and repeat silently:
"My mind is clear."

Inhale and repeat silently:
"My spirit is filled with power, love, and wisdom."

Exhale and repeat silently:
"All in equal measure."

Breathe and feel the intention fill your entire being.

The benefits of this pose: slows the mind, reduces blood pressure and heart rate, calms the entire being, promotes peace and serenity, and brings you back to the present.

Towards the end of July I decided I was sick of heading towards the “overweight” side of the spectrum and that I was going to buckle down and Get. Me. Some. Exercise! Starting off with some brisk bike rides down the trails with my dad and workouts on the treadmill/rowing machines at the Gym, I finally gave in to forming a daily exercise routine using the WiiFit. Luckily, I get school credit for this.

Every day I do 30 minutes of rigorous strength training and yoga. After clocking my time, I continue with anywhere from 30 to 60 sit-ups before I go off to shower. I would recommend WiiFit and easy around-the-house workouts (cleaning is a great exercise!).

Over time, our bone health deteriorates and it is important we strengthen and train our bodies to adapt to the ongoing changes occurring in our bodies every second of every day. Exercise reduces the risk of heart disease and other life threatening conditions–of course, who wouldn’t assume this?

Do not forget to eat spicy foods before you step on that treadmill; eating spicy foods before exercise helps you begin to increase your metabolism by as much as 50%! Oh, and: don’t consume food after 9PM, all of which is stored as fat. That’s right… Wii talks.


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This post is part of the category "79 Things". Click to see the complete series of 79 Things.

Today, I thought I would uncover something that deeply affects my life (and many others'), in greater depth.

I have a generalized anxiety disorder that makes it hard for me to function as a normal teenager. I first realized it as far back as pre-school, but it started to get considerably worse around 1st grade. Sadly, I was not officially diagnosed until I was 12 years of age and didn't start seeking serious help until age 14!

"What is a generalized anxiety disorder?", you may ask. Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) is an anxiety disorder characterized by chronic anxiety, exaggerated worry and tension, even when there is little or nothing to provoke it. People with GAD can't seem to shake their concerns. Their worries are accompanied by physical symptoms, especially fatigue, headaches, muscle tension, muscle aches, difficulty swallowing, trembling, twitching, irritability, sweating, and hot flashes. (-NIMH)

I rarely get panic attacks these days, but had severe attacks every day for several months during the 6th grade due to harsh bullying I went through at school, and separation anxiety from my parents. I was adopted at six weeks old, and my theory is: due to the abandonment aspect that many newborn adopted children feel, it resulted, for me, through separation fear. In my childhood, this caused me to act bossy and clingy towards friends, parents, and the like.

"What is separation anxiety disorder?" Separation Anxiety Disorder (SAD) is a psychological condition in which an individual experiences excessive anxiety regarding separation from home or from people to whom the individual has a strong emotional attachment (like a father or mother). It becomes a disorder when the separation reaction becomes strong enough to impair people's ability to conduct their day to day lives and relationships (-WIKI)

My original SAD transformed into GAD later in life, and my fear fortunately gave up on the grip that was holding onto my parents, and began to focus more on everything around me, making it easier for me to control my fears.

Today, I have changed a lot. I have built a stable relationship with the important people in my life and gained confidence in myself. However, there are still underlying issues and I seek therapy to advise me on the path of coping with GAD.

Think of anxiety this way: A clam in a shell. The clam needs its shell to survive, and everything outside the shell is unknown, unfathomable. I'm the clam, and I'll surely learn how to live outside my shell with time.

A couple years ago, I went to the lab to get my blood drawn, hoping I would find out any allergic reaction I might have and what my blood type is. Turns out I am allergic to dairy, so from now on I will have a non-dairy, vegetarian, somewhat vegan diet!

My blood type is A positive, which is my mom's type. Because I am adopted, it is hard to know my biological family's health complications. All I know is that asthma was hereditary (and I battled that for six years). My birth mother had asthma, I believe her mom had asthma, and her other kids had asthma-like complications as well. I feel very lucky to have the same blood type as one of my parents, in case I ever need anything medically, or vice versa.

I have begun to read Eat Right 4 Your Type by Dr. Peter J. D'Adamo. It is a book series covering all particular blood types.

Along with the A+ blood type comes B12 deficiency, and I have started taking vitamins for that. There is a plus here: they're cherry flavored!


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This post is part of the category "79 Things". Click to see the complete series of 79 Things.