There are times when moving on is necessary--for me, this is one of those times. Today will mark the second day YouTube removed my montages for copyright claims. I'm still confused as to why, considering they didn't remove my channel(s) after almost every one of my videos were either blocked in some part of the world or marked with ads next to it.

Here's what the situation comes down to: sure, I should have gotten permission to use the audio tracks, however, they were all payable off iTunes and (obviously) released to the public for use in projects such as commercials and montages. However, there is a big difference between commercials and what I do.

I was using physical media released for public use as long as I did not make profit off it--and I didn't. I was requested to become a partner because of my high viewing average, and I declined. I suppose I should be more gracious to YouTube for letting me stay on their service for 4 years combined without removing me more than twice, and that is something I cannot erase--my gratitude, because YouTube gave me hundreds of comments and support, thousands of friendly greetings and millions of views.

Considering there are young kids making lyric videos who are partners and are making profit off of Britney Spears' latest hit, I thought it was necessary to speak my peace. From now on, I will be boycotting YouTube for the montage realm of things. I had my "farewell montage" set for January of 2012, to the song "Love You 'Til The End" by The Pogues, so I was well emotionally prepared. Being forced to say goodbye to your baby that you nurtured and adored for so many years is hard. Very hard, but I will rise above.

YouTube needs more creative freedom with their copyright laws and have to understand the artistic and therapeutic side of montaging, not the swindling and stealing side that only craves money and a ride with fame. I will keep them as my vlog host and continue to gain views and friends there.

My deepest apologies and gratitude to my large following of fans and viewers. The song "Love You 'Til The End" holds so much meaning for me, especially in relation to how Ekaterina Gordeeva, Sergei Grinkov and the rest of the Gordeeva/Kulik family shaped the person I am today. I love Katia, Sergei, Ilia, Daria and Liza and will continue to keep their bright smiles and beautiful hearts close to mine. I am a product of influence and inspiration from their strength and perseverance. From my heart to yours, dear viewers and supporters, I'll love you 'til the end.

Every once in a while, I come across a quote good enough to write down (or, at least put in my "Favorite Quotations" part of Facebook...). This is a compiled list of the ones I keep dear to me. Have favorite quotations? Please send me an email at UKatcom@aol.com!


"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." - Albert Einstein

"Try to smile at least once every day and just tell the person who you love, 'I love you.' It's so great!" - Ekaterina Gordeeva

"Our honor depends upon our honesty." - Sergei Grinkov

"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." - Nelson Mandela

"Your family is the most important thing in your life; you always have to keep your family very close. You can't dwell on the past, every single day is a new day and you can make the best out of it!" - Daria Gordeeva

"Honesty is the first chapter of the book of wisdom." - Thomas Jefferson

‎"Speak your mind, cause bitin' your tongue hurts!" - Helen B.

"Be inspired to ignore their ignorant message, and feel gratitude in your heart that you are not burdened or addicted to hate, as they are." - Lady GaGa

"I don't think people are cut out for someone like me, but it is okay. In the end, wisdom and mercy always surrender. When people learn mercy and love, they truly learn of living." - Kathryn C (myself).

"Common courtesy, common sense, common decency, common law, common knowledge; all not so common today." ~ Helen B.

"Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out." - Vaclav Havel

"I always found comfort in knowing--if people are not loving me for me completely, at least I know who the true people are in my life. If anything it was a blessing that those people stopped showing they care. I don't want people in my life that don't care about me. Get rid of the people in your life that don't accept you for you. Conditional love is not love." - Chris Crocker

"The stars look satisfied, confidently holding up the sky. They make it seem so simple... they know where their place is, so why don't I?" - Derik Nelson, "Circles"

"I know who I am--not just the character that people see. I know who I am at the end of the day when I've got sorrow in my heart. I know who I am when I wake up in the morning. But when bitches test you, it's time to testify. If you test me, I'm gonna ace you! How is a failure going to test me? How the fuck is an F gonna test an A+? That's what I wanna know." - Chris Crocker


And, the one that probably fits the best for this website and my readers is this:

"In whichever, whatever way: you are unstoppable. Don't take 'no' for an answer, pay absolutely no mind to those who want to bring you down, and feel gratitude in your heart and soul that you are who you have become today. You shine in little and bigger ways: where you achieve, where you fail, and where you give. Don't stop." - Kathryn C (myself)

Creating dream boards (or collages) has been something that has kept me occupied throughout my life. Dream boards can be made out of a variety of things, but I prefer using thick, mounting or foam-core boards that give something to grab onto, that does not deteriorate in the rain that quickly.

It is very easy to make your own dream boards. Flip through a variety of magazines and cut out the images you find suit your dreams and hopes the best. Then, cut and shape them to your liking, placing them in an overlapping arrangement on the board, eventually gluing them down when you finish the final concept.

After you finish this process, find words and quotes that you think suit the photos and glue them on top of the photo arrangement. You can add a border (like I did on the bottom of this one) if you would like as well! Go crazy with it and make it completely YOU.

After you are finished, you can stick it on a wall with double-sided tape or mount it somewhere for flawless grip. Many people enjoy creating dream boards for their therapeutic release and art therapy-feel. Having dreams is good, even if you may never achieve what the dream boards symbolize for you. The dream board example above features critical things that I feel I need in my life, in grayscale and sepia tones: love, intimacy, children/good parenting, adventure, money, relaxing places, strength, confidence, acceptance, beauty, laughter, activism and the ability to let go and appreciate the little happy things in life.

Often times, I hear humorous misconceptions, or better yet, pre-conceptions, of myself and those like myself. I figured I would address some of these ideas nicely for those who may be curious of lifestyles like my own.

I am a good student, and I am not afraid to show it. This does not mean I am a goody two-shoes, or that I sit at home every Friday night looking at a pile of textbooks--this just means that I study and I get things turned in at a pace that fits best for me.

I do not use recreational drugs, nor drink, yet this does not mean I don't hangout with people that do. The photo above is a friend and I. She is 20 years old and has different lifestyle habits than I do, yet we still connect over many preferences and core values. I immerse myself in a variety of people and sides of the story, so that I can accurately judge people.

I am an abstinence and safe-sex educator/advocator, and nope, this does not mean I am against pre-marital sex. The coined term: "abstinence" can be defined as any period of time in which you decide to not engage in sexual activity. You could lose your virginity at 12, have a sexual relationship until 14, and be abstinent until you are 22--it is what ever works best for you. I choose this value for my own life and don't try to change others' minds.

I get along with my parents, respect my teachers and support abstinence, although, this doesn't mean I am religious. As well, I do not support organized religion or any person that claims to be a religion, yet sins within it, however, I do not try to alter the beliefs of others. I believe what I know--my faith begins in knowledge. It is apparent that different people are granted different knowledge.

I am 50% Mexican, but I am not a marijuana dealer (or user), and I did not cross the border illegally. I do not steal, nor do I know very much Spanish. I am an adopted child to two very Caucasian, Russian/Scottish and "German-American" wonderful parents that love me the same as any fully-white child, and, one just so happens to hold a Ph.D degree.

I dress put-together and somewhat stereotypically "preppy"--this does not mean I am an aspiring cheerleader, or am going to say: "Oh my gawd, I broke a nail!" I am one of the least "girly" girls you are ever going to meet. My favorite thing to do when I get done with my daily grind is to kick off my boots, grab a long t-shirt and lounge.

I am a teenager. This does NOT mean I love watching Glee, spend hours getting ready in the morning, act ignorant about every topic known to man, or make bad choices with my life "just because". This is the fun judgement. I like conversing with adults, challenging norms and would pick the Oprah show over Glee any day!

The point of this blog post is: we all judge, but drawing the fine line between judging to be "cool" and judging based upon knowledge is extremely crucial to learning and growing as a humble identity on this earth. Just because an individual acts a certain way does not mean they are the stereotypical type of that appearance or belief. No matter what you have been or are judged for, do not give up. There are people like you out there, all over the world, who are going through judgment and trying to find their voice to correct when others cross that fine line.

(Photo of my 9 year old self)
Inspired by Andy's letter to HIS 11 year old self, here is mine...

Dear 11 Year Old Self:

You are in a big world, now. A world that isn't always forgiving, nor understanding, but, you have a big heart that will pull you out of the rubble.

Those kids making fun of you day-in and day-out at school don't have anything going for them at their young age, but you will, just trust me. If you keep holding on, you will be able to overcome and show your true talents for the world.

Service will become a big part of your life, because you care unconditionally about humans. Never give up on your caring spirit and big smile, even if your teeth are crooked and spotty. You will love these teeth and won't notice their flaws eventually (after self-confidence growth, and some dental assistance...).

Within the next year, you will make a big lifestyle change, and find God through that change in the next three years. You will discover even bigger role models, and gain a sliver of fame to keep you going, spreading your heartfelt message with the world.

Your parents are great guidance counselors and wonderful spirits to gain wisdom from. You will eventually bend and shape in your own ways, away from their beliefs and ways of life, but you will always share the same sentimental soul and grounded values with them.

I know you are feeling a lot of pain right now, but your life has yet to unfold in front of you, sweetie. Even though you may not love me at this moment in time, I have always loved you.

 
My pup's 10th birthday was nearing when I realized something astonishing: in the past year of blogging regularly, my blog readers have never been "formally" introduced to my black Labrador Retriever, Tess.

So, I thought I should make a blog post. The photo above is Tess. She is a very lively dog for her age and adores being around her doggie friends. Much like her human sister (me) when she was little, she eats anything, including rocks.

I was 7 when my family adopted Tess from a private owner in Woodinville, Washington. It was an extremely long drive that had us exhausted, but so very worth it when we received our very own puppy.

You might ask, how did we know which puppy to choose from out of the liter? Of course these puppies were all black Labs, but only one stood out to us as my dad knelt down to pet it--this one was our Tess, who had jumped into my dad's arms and started wagging her puppy tail.

At the time, I had a babysitter named Tess, who turned out to be my teacher's daughter (another story for a different day). I adored this human Tess and thought she brought over the yummiest soup on the planet. Therefore, in my all-wise 7 year old mind, I thought it would be a fantastic idea to name my pet after my funny babysitter. Tess, or "Tessie" as I call her, has remained my favorite pet and changed my life in substantial ways.

August 26th marked her 10th birthday, and yesterday we enjoyed our annual "dog party" for her with 8 or 9 of her best friends.

This is our friend Ivan. Believe me, he NEVER gets a break from those dogs. I am grateful to him and our other human friends that make time on Labor Day for our pup party.

A couple tips for hosting your own dog party:

• First and foremost: have it outside in a wide open space so the pals can roam free without feeing claustrophobic.
• Get or create a table for the human food, at least 6-7 feet tall, and make sure to set up a bee trap nearby in case the pesky yellow jackets pay a visit.
• Create little party favor "treat bags" (get the pun?) for the doggie guests, and keep them inside until the party's over.
• Make sure to set out enough chairs for all your human guests and set out big buckets filled with water for the canine buddies.
• Last but not least: don't forget an endless supply of treats, or you won't have happy campers!

As of today, September, 2nd, 2011, I am saying goodbye to some of my most beloved blog posts because of the intense viewing counts they were collecting and for seemingly not the most appropriate reasons, sometimes up to as much as 100 clicks or more per day. I want to honor one in particular--one of the most famous posts on UnstoppableKatya, that many of you popping by may be wondering about.

"Figure of Inspiration: Profile of Daria Grinkova" was a blog post explaining the young life of celebrity daughter Daria Grinkova who gained fame by skating in competitions and with her champion mother Ekaterina Gordeeva. Her father is the late and beloved Sergei Grinkov. This post highlighted the reasons I admired her and how she became a role model for many young teenagers.

After some deliberation, I decided to remove this blog post due to the rapid views it was gaining. A red flag is set off in my mind if one of my most popular posts involves a celebrity, specifically one that brings up many debates from the voices of their fans. I would rather gain my "blogging spotlight" from decent lifestyle posts about what I have gone through or figured out in my life than gain any more fame through Daria or her family. I don't believe that is right, and while all the information I shared was public and released by Daria or her family themselves, I'm not going to promote the fame of someone trying to lead a private life.

I create my montages and I share that "preserving the love" sentiment with other Katia fans--that is where the sentiment should and will remain from this day forward. Thank you so much for the support and views, but because this "Figure of Inspiration" mini-series was discontinued, I don't feel the need to keep this post up. Similarly, I also don't feel the need to keep a post up about someone who doesn't inspire me that much anymore. Daria changed as she grew older (duh! Don't we all!?) and our lifestyles are worlds apart. I've spent many days coming to peace with this over the past 6 months, and I respect and wish her the best in her endeavors.

My apologies remain intact to those of you looking for a good read on the topic you searched for, but this Figure of Inspiration blog post has been deleted along with a few others. It is time for a fresh start!

There's a bit of a change going on over here at UnstoppableKatya, so I figured if I crafted an easy, go-to guide for y'all, things might get a bit easier to navigate (as if it weren't easy already!).

I have a ton of friends, and of course, my parents, asking me: "Is there somewhere I can find all of your accounts and sites in one place?" Well, now there is, and I am planning to keep it that way.

Today, I released three new navigation choices (and updated one) up top on the navigation bar here at UnstoppableKatya.com, that will guide you to my social networking sites and more. I thought it would be handy to list these in bullet-list format.

• Tumblelog - A sequel to the main blog here at UnstoppableKatya.com, which can be found under the "Tumblelog" link on the navigation bar up top. This website URL is tumblr.unstoppablekatya.com. This is my "casual" Tumblr blog--if I find a image or quote I like, I'll post it there, along with things I don't feel are appropriate for my main zine.
  
• Montages - UPDATED! Instead of linking to a page that explains what my montages are, I'm linking to the direct montage site itself, readysetshinevideos.com. This "Montages" link includes timely updates of my montages instead of having to navigate my YouTube channel (some people prefer the channel so they can leave comments and favorite videos, at youtube.com/readysetshine).
  
• Vlogs - Remember this post? A few months back, I began creating personal videos of myself, sharing my latest shopping discoveries, favorite books and crafts, and emotional journeys I hadn't discussed here. Clicking on the "Vlogs" link will take you to that channel on YouTube, youtube.com/theunstoppablekatia.
  
• Twitter - Yep, I do tweet! Clicking on the "Twitter" link on the navigation bar will send you directly to my Twitter profile at twitter.com/katyadotcom. Don't forget to send me a tweet once you arrive @katyadotcom.

I typically hate smileys in blog posts, but I can't resist--I've reached nearly 15,000 views on UnstoppableKatya in the past 9 months, with the average of 100+ per day. A huuuuge thank you to my viewers! I know that's not a whole ton for such an intricate website, but I consider it an accomplishment for a gal in the Northwest, blogging about her humorous life :-)

With the release of my own personal YouTube vlogging channel, theunstoppablekatia, I am speaking out about my favorite style items, what has been going on in my life "behind the scenes" of UnstoppableKatya and talking about the hobbies and interests that engage me the most.

I have been gaining subscribers and views/likes every now and then, but need your support (my loyal readers, of course!). If you like this idea, please support by sending me a few comments or a message on my channel. I need as much feedback as I can get--I don't want to be doing something that's a waste of my time when you guys possibly prefer a different style of vlogging better.

Which would YOU like to hear more about? Leave me a comment anywhere - email, Facebook page, channel. Style? Shopping? Lifestyle? Opinions? 79 Things in video format? Cooking? Travel? Figure Skating Reviews? Let me know!

A collection of my favorite latest happenings through photography for the months of July and August 2011, including my room remodel process and blog foodie shoots, PFLAG dinner with Steve Schalchlin, HAM Radio Field Day and a very recent home shoot. Bellingham, Portland and San Juan Island photography will be their own separate vlogs - look out for those coming soon!

* Be sure to check this video out in awesome 1080p High Definition!

Many of you probably noticed my recent posts regarding my journey with finding my birth mother, the love I have found within counseling and many of the past details about my bullying experiences and aggravation as a child. I figured I would share the tips I use when discussing very personal life situations, with the hope that maybe this will help a few of the young bloggers out there feel a bit more comfortable releasing their feelings on life situations, but not the full nitty-gritty.

1. First off, I never EVER mention names. If you accuse someone of saying or doing something poorly, for example, raping you, or even disagreeing with you in a harsh manner, if you use their name, you could get in some pretty dangerous (and perhaps legal) trouble. It’s not like I’m telling you something you shouldn’t know already. Regarding the examples of individuals involved in personal situations given at the beginning of this post: I believe my birth mother, counselor and my former bully reserve their rights to remain invisible individuals on my website and everything I tell my blog and montage viewers. I never give their residing location, or the names of their family members. To me, last name is the particular issue, and any names of people within an individual’s personal life is crossing a line.

2. I also think, if it’s not necessary to your story, you should leave the city in which this personal incident occurred in out, as well, and if it is your current city, certainly leave it out! It is all about Internet privacy and keeping yourself protected.

3. If you get threats or poor commentary for posting what you posted, respect the person’s issues with your post and alter it, but don’t take it down completely unless the situation prompts that extreme course of action. You are entitled to your beliefs and your right to free speech. Technically, by not mentioning any personal information about that person’s life or whereabouts, you are not doing anything wrong, merely standing up for yourself and explaining to people who care about your life what you have endured within it.

I talk both negatively and positively about people in my life, and encourage those in my life to talk negatively and positively about me if they need to rant and get something out, on their own blogs or personal journals. I request the same top 3 rules above from them as well. Those who I grew up knowing in person would most likely know the first names of my birth mother, former bully and maybe even counselor, but those are the people I trust to put two-and-two together.

In my opinion, blogging is the door that opens many other doors. It is the chance to express who you are to the world that may be watching. It is also a chance to be extremely therapeutic and let your guard down. No matter who may not like what you have to say, what you are blogging about comes from within. Lifestyle bloggers do a very courageous thing by letting each and every person know the details of their lives. Those who criticize don't have that much of an argument unless they know how helpful therapeutic blogging/writing can be. Judgments will carry with you through life, but being able to push past them will present you as a fearless leader who believes in what they have to say.

I was in need of a big change. My scrunched up “walk-in-closet” could barely be stood in, let alone dressed in. That’s when I asked my parents about the small storage room across the hall from me. We immediately began switching things out and loading the storage downstairs. My mom had said that she always wondered when I may have asked to use this small-ish room, and that it would be more-than-convenient in my College years. This new, generously big “walk-in-closet” is still in the works, but it has gone through an entire spruce up and is ready to begin its legacy.




Going in to this project, I absolutely knew my vision. I wanted a dark brown or dark purple hue for the walls. A salon-like, neutral area to relax and get beautified in. Not only would this be where my clothes and shoes were held, but it would be a place for memorabilia, photo frames and my entire make up and jewelry vanity collection. A place for a girl to dream! The above lamp I bought from the back-to-College Target selection for only $8 on clearance.

I bought the paint from the premiere collection at Lowe’s hardware for about $40 per gallon. Expensive, but worth it. Because it was a darker color than orange, it needed no primer, and the premiere paint added a nice finishing coat. The paint job (performed by myself and partner Mark) took a total of 10 hours of hard labor during two different days, but was very worth the outcome. It’s no Ty Pennington, but it will do.




The next detail to be born out of this room was the idea of photo framed memorabilia. I created a collage of memories in each frame of my grandmother’s, which are shown above in categories: Skating, Sentimental, Friends/Events, and Travel. I don’t have the most extensive collection of memorabilia, but it will grow with time, now that I have a reason to collect it!




The second step was to put in a new window (one that wasn’t 20 years old and rotting) and create a fine-finish frame around it. My dad, the lovely handyman, created a beautiful frame and also created a 10-cubby shelf where I chose to store my jackets, sweaters, scarfs, and all things in between. I made simple labels by printing out text and taping the backs of the paper onto the storage boxes. Tacky, but good enough for me.




I went to Jo-Ann’s Fabrics & Crafts and picked out a set of three boxes and a matching basket to store my make up products in, to give my table a sense of organization. It was a bit of a splurge, but all under $20. I am using my grandmother’s old kitchen table that has collapsible, removable sides as my vanity table.




My favorite splurge out of my own pocket is the 9-piece polaroid photo frame set by Umbra for $18 at Bed, Bath and Beyond. I used Instagram Apple effects to create the look of the photos for these delicate frames. The frames are writable, so you can use dry-erase markers to create captions for your memories.

There are a few more changes to make to this room, a wardrobe piece to be crafted and a few mirrors to hang, but I am prepared to start cherishing this room as my baby as of today. I invested my sweat, time and energy in to it, and I love the awesome group effort that was put in to it.

I was playing around in a chocolate scrubbing war with partner Mark when my own creative, NOH8-like blog post/image idea popped in to my head.

A health condition I am very passionate about is the disease Vitiligo. When you see individuals like Michael Jackson who went straight from being darker skinned to pale white in an instant, what do you think? More than likely, a whacko man who got numerous plastic surgeries, oh, and let’s not forget: a man who bleached his skin! How insanely bothered must he be to switch his skin from black to white.

Truth is: Jackson didn’t have much of a choice. Jackson had Vitiligo from a young age. Vitiligo is a skin disorder in which you are born of African descent (or the like) and overtime your skin begins to turn white, dissolving patches of your dark skin in a very unsettling and unhealthy way.

I was watching a documentary on Vitiligo and individuals in the workplace and at home that battle this disease every day, and coat their faces with tanner and make up to turn the process around as much as they possibly can. Someday (and maybe they are already) those people will be completely Caucasian-looking, even if by genetic race they are not.

I can play around with a sweetener all I want to get the point across, but Vitiligo is nothing like smearing chocolate on your body, and certainly is no treat. It is a heartbreaking, traumatic experience for many who go through it, and a troublesome situation for those in it, trying to cover up the signs.

Think of a middle-aged woman compulsively trying to hide her wrinkles and frown lines with multiple creams, rubbing every inch of her face, only to find she cannot turn back the time, only this woman could be any age, young, old, or even a man. She/he could be a news anchor, an author, a teacher, a mother/father, or even a celebrity.

This is a condition I hope you all educate yourselves on and read articles on. It is fascinating how these people live normal lives and don’t let Vitiligo stop their hearts from living freely, no matter how “not normal” these people look.

Sad to say it for those who don’t know, but Borders bookstores are closing down in an estimated week or two, except for possibly a slim 40 out of over 400 that will be bought by a bigger company. I am personally extremely disappointed with the news, since I have been a great Borders advocate/supporter. For me, Barnes & Noble cut it for the first 10 years, but then I grew bored of their lacking selection and high prices (especially for coffee—$4-5 for a small, are you kidding me?).

Borders was a beloved hangout spot for friends and I, and the 20-75% off deals they sent every other day in the mail filled the knick-knack/journal lover inside of me with glee! For us, Borders will be truly missed, and we apologize with our fullest hearts that we didn’t buy enough Kula coffees to make the bill. We love you, BB!

Yesterday, I launched my silly tumblelog titled Snippets from a Bookstore Cafe.



There I will be posting my favorite graphics, messages, quotes and music for you all to enjoy. I am going to let my “teenage side” grow and flourish there. Happy tumblin’!

I remember back when I was blogging on Bridgette’s Diary, I included a mini-series about my dreams (I’ve always been quite good at predicting the meaning of dreams, and remembering them at that) that would dive into the what, why, and hows within my subconscious.

This morning, I remembered 2 dreams that don’t make a whole lot of sense to me.
1. I am driving, and I can’t control the car. I swerve in and out of lanes, twirl around and stop abruptly. Pretty soon, a cop car pulls me over, but not from behind me. In front of me. This is when the dream changes out of no where, or at least when I stop remembering details.

2. Once I make it to the library to meet my friends, I start recognizing everyone that works there. My good male friend is the librarian. Other friends are helpers. Our group sits around and talks. This group consists of the people I dislike, and the people I get along with at high school. We start talking about my blog, and they ask me questions. Suddenly Mark shows up and tells me that he needs to register for some sort of test or paper that he needed to submit to the library. We go over to the desk and he asks for the current sheet, dated 2010. They say they only have 2008 and there is no updated form. Then I see some papers to the right, and sneakily browse through. I see my name written on a paper (not in my hand writing) that dates 2010. This is the paper Mark needed.

What do I think these dreams mean?

Just like the infamous falling dream, the first dream could possibly be a sign that my life is spiralling out of control and I feel stressed/overwhelmed, which at this moment, I do not. It’s a stretch, but the fact the cop came from the front could signify a random, abnormal or new situation, which I have trouble accepting in real life. The cop is always supposed to come from behind, right? If situations in life don’t go the way I plan or think they will pan out by expecting things, I get anxious.

The second dream puts up one big red flag for me: over-confidence. First, everyone is asking about what I do. Second, I get an advantage over my partner. Maybe I view Mark as if he doesn’t need help getting things in and out of life, but I could also view myself as more high maintenance. Or, this could just be representing a more popular theory: I enjoy high school more than he did, and I spend too much time on studying instead of on him, therefore would have an advantage when it comes to administered tests.

Who knows. I’d rather not keep my mind boggled for the rest of the day contemplating this, but I thought I’d get those ideas out in the open. How good do you think you are at predicting your own dreams? What do YOUR dreams mean?

Over my teenage years on this planet, in other words: the years I have been able to pick up on right vs. wrong, I have collected data from various incidents and individuals that make me cringe, helping to create this list of mannerisms that I think all humans should abide by. There are a few mannerisms that pertain to each category.

Basics:

* Keep your area (whether it be your bedroom or your luxurious condo) tidy so that other people (such as myself) don't feel tempted to clean it for you.

* Dress to impress, even when going out to the super market--in other words: don't wear belly tops unless you can pull them off.

* Be happy about your personal success and don't roll your eyes at others' happiness. There's enough to go around.

Social Skills:

* Don't mention your guilty habits - such as drug usage or crime record just to try and impress.

* If someone treats you out or advises you to join them on an outing, don't disrespect them or complain about the food / activities.

* Don't judge someone that is not your "task" to judge, especially not a friend's parenting skills or your child's friend's parents - very poorly received.

Family Skills:

* Don't belittle a member of your family, big or small. It will cause you to be resented, and them to carry around emotional baggage of judgment.

* Consider your partner part of your family if you have been dating over 6 months no matter how old you are. Vice versa, if your family member has a partner, accept them unconditionally and welcome them to family events, no matter how old they are.

* If you're the parent or older sibling, let your youngin' have freedom to grow in their own skin. Let them choose their own hobbies, passions and goals with no nudging. Don't live vicariously through your child.

* Outside family should not judge or try to control the parenting habits of distant relatives. For example: I'm not going to do what my uncle tells me to do, and my nephew is not going to do what my mom tells him to do. Know limits and boundaries of family status.

* Make an effort to stay connected with distant family - aunts and uncles must be friends with their nieces and nephews, at least enough for them to feel comfortable to confide when a serious situation arises. Cousins should be close as well.

Romance Skills:

* Trust is an expectation in the dating game. If you break your loyalty or trust, don't expect anything from the other person. Love is a two way street.

* Honesty is the second utmost expectation. If you make a mistake, expect to fess up, or don't expect to stay around.

* Expect to talk about the dirty details of S-E-X before you engage in it. Sure, heat of the moment stuff gets everyone weak-in-the-knees, but a stable, healthy relationship starts with open discussion.

* Flirting with other people can be harmless, but hinting at sexual encounters or thoughts is one step too far. If you want someone to flirt with, flirt with your partner.

Internet Skills:

* Everyone has a different demand from Facebook, but if you plan on adding family friends or strangers, expect to be commenting and "liking" their posts. Don't shut someone off, and don't add to be popular.

* When creating Events on Facebook, be sure to add everyone you could possible think of to include - don't exclude, and don't create private events without notifying your guests not to tell anyone else about that party on Saturday night.

* If someone emails you with a confidential, serious tone, it is customary to respond within 2-3 days. Even more important: if you're faculty, a boss, or an educator, it is better to respond within 24 hours.

*  Don't ruin sites like Omegle and Second Life for everybody - keep to pornography sites if you're there for the classless girls that will flash for you.

* Don't argue on a site such as Twitter with a person who you aren't yet well acquainted with. Facebook is for friendly debate and discussion.

* If someone states something harsh or opinionated on their account (example: Facebook), it is not your right, etiquette-speaking, to talk back to them or say something inappropriate. Also not okay to assume what they meant from a generalized statement. If they want to say something, they can. If you want to say something on your page, you can as well.

Outing Skills:

* At more upscale restaurants, eat with both your knife and fork, and always keep your napkin on your lap (I hope you already knew this international custom).

* Don't spit on the streets, it's not sanitary or "cool". Same goes for littering.

* When accessing free WiFi, always purchase a drink or snack from the cafe or nearby service. Very tacky to mooch.

* Dress for the occasion/activity. For example: if you're going to a theme park, wear sneakers, not high-heels. Think practically.

Last week, I discovered one of the most brilliant freewares I have ever used: Poladroid, the free polaroid-mimicking agent that clicks and snaps just like a polaroid camera on your computer desktop with both PC and MAC compatibility.



You start out with a free screen with the mini polaroid camera icon in the corner. Then, you simply drag a photo to the camera icon, and watch it develop. If you want to speed the process along, shake the photo icon across the screen in a right-left motion. It will develop within approx. 10 seconds if you shake fast enough, but will take a good few minutes if you do not.

... And BAM! You have a polaroid photo ready for prints and framing right before your eyes. In my case, I am starting a Flickr stream / blog posting category called "Poladroid-a-Day", in which I include little photography surprises in between every other blog post - ya never know when one will pop up!

I encourage you to start the "polaroid" journey with me, and download Poladroid for free here (no spyware or viruses - I promise!) :-)

(You can follow "Poladroid-a-Day" in my Flickr stream here...)

Towards summertime, I notice a shift in common 'tude; a different facade for many individuals. What's up with this buzz about people being "perfect"? I'm surely not! I am nearly positive you are sitting there with a smug grin on your face, reader, contemplating the depths of what's about to become my most embarrassing blog post ever.

In the society I live in, in order not to be conceived as thinking you are perfect, you have to express how imperfect you are. When I hear or discover others' imperfections, I start to feel better about how sane I myself can come across, and I am sure you experience the same, at least a majority of the time...

I am a flip-flopper. I typically stay on one designated path, but change my mind about the minuscule details encountered along the journey. "Should I buy this top? If I saved up, I could buy that wallet that I truly need to function day-to-day, and I already have like sooo many tops. But then again, if I don't, I could miss out on a top this cute.", or: "Should I buy this type of cheese? What if it's too spicy, and then I just spent like $4 on slices of cheese that are too spicy, but if I buy the other cheese that's just plain, I'll want to buy even more cheese! Either way, cheese is bad for me... but I really want cheese!" So, I admit: maybe some of this is the GAD talking, but my what-if mindset affects my family, partner, and self immensely.

I have my insecurities. While some are far too personal to discuss within a public blog, they are present. Perhaps I don't have burning self-esteem issues, but I'm still shaky around heights, and squeamish around spiders. Afraid of ending up alone, and screwing up my future child's life. While many of my irrational fears are just that - irrational, I have a lot that worries me and tugs at the heart strings.

I am a perfectionist type of person, one adjusted to routine and organization around the house. When I get out from taking a shower, I have to shake off the towel before I dry myself off. "For what purpose?", you ask. The answer? I have no freakin' clue! It's developed as one of those little, quirky habits that I have to conform to before the day starts off right. I also get pretty bad test anxiety and forget all of the information I have taken in over the months when I am faced with the possibility of getting it wrong (when we all know, I'm gonna get it wrong).

When I really, really, reaaalllyy want something: I whine. I use a persuasive, childish little voice to try and make my mommy think I'm cute, but we all know that's just annoying and probably isn't getting me anywhere. I have a hot temper, and become irritably "loud" quite quickly. Also annoying. I am TERRIBLE with directions! I barely learned any Geography in school, and it shows. Unless I know the route to the place I am going, or landmarks around it, I cannot make out a street address for the life of me.

I am somewhat materialistic, and certainly can't live without money. I calculated how many hours I would have to work on minimum wage as a College student in order to pay utilities and rent, while getting the extra, leisure "fixes" I would like to have per week, and it came out to around 4 hours per day, including weekends. Along with my relationship with money comes a little bit of spoiling from my family. I am certainly not a "spoiled brat", but growing up I did get what I wanted a majority of the time (props to being an only child, too).

I have high expectations of others. I will automatically accept you no matter what, and be your friendly acquaintance (what you do on your own time is your business), but if you're going to be a close friend of mine, I typically don't associate with druggies or "lowlifes", which is a good chunk of the teenage scene where I reside. When beginning a relationship, I'm not too picky, and expect full honesty/trust as a given. If you make a mistake, I'm quick to forgive, but never forget. We are all humans, but when people start to make excuses for compulsive mistake-making, I get a little ticked-off.

Did'ya like that rant? I thought so. Jot down a few of the things that make you specially YOU, imperfect, or perfect in themselves, and try to turn them into humorous facts or learn how to associate them with positive traits. Sure, I do want a lot of things in life, both material-wise and emotionally, and I am quirky and sometimes misunderstood, but it shows that I truly am living. I care enough about my life to ask for things, and not live in the dark in which every day I am expecting a surprise from people. I am not searching high and low for what I want - I know what I want. I push myself to the tallest heights and don't give up until somehow, someday I will ace the test.

I always say how my life has been filled with plenty ups and downs, and well, I figured I would brief you on how I got where I am today. Of course this isn't the full story (I could write a novel!), but it's the jist.

• Birth - 6 weeks: Living with my birth parents in my birth father's mother's house. Birth father runs out on us while mother is in adoption process. I am adopted by two great parents.
  
• 6 weeks - 3 years: Never crawled, but ate a lot of yummy foods and spit up. Talked early on, first word was either "Erica" or "broccoli".
  
• 3 - 5 years: Enrolled in pre-school 10 minutes from home. Met best friend Shannon, and other nice boys and girls. Was very outdoorsy, active, and loved climbing trees. Had a Barbie birthday cake, and held parties at the gymnastics arena.
• 5 - 7 years: Enrolled in an alternative, wonderfully inviting elementary school for kindergarten, up to 2nd grade. Closer than ever to Shannon. Was quite spoiled, and loved to buy mini trinkets and Barbie dolls. Had a ever-growing Barbie collection. Bullying began around age 6, same year diagnosed with severe asthma.
• 7 - 9 years: 3rd and 4th grade. Shannon and I's friendship ended, and I made many more come-and-go friends. Good student, strong writing abilities and loved to read. Still very bubbly; a social butterfly. Cautious of the kids at school, bullying persisted regardless of action we took. Been visiting Sun River Resort in Oregon each summer, spending a lot of time in Oregon with grandma (mom's mom). Met my first love who I was yet to grow up with, and attended my first Stars On Ice show with mom. Lived through beyond 6. earthquake that threw the bricks off the school.
• 9 - 11 years: 5th grade. Graduated from elementary school, enrolled in alternative program within middle school 15 minutes from home, 5 minutes from my pre-school. Good relationship with my parents, took a trip to Whistler, B.C. this year. Owned my first camera. Obsession with Hilary Duff - first true "idol". Nearly "died" from severe asthma attack. Rode horses briefly.
• 11 - 12 years: 6th grade. Bullying became 5x more severe, and decided to pursue home-schooling for the rest of my middle school career. Made some best friends, said a cute "I love you" for the first time, and had my first "date".Asthma slowly fades, diagnosed with SAD/GAD.
• 12 - 14 years: 7th and 8th grade, dad administrates my education with the aid of online curriculum. Experience sitting in on my dad's College sociology course on many occasions, got the feeling that I was yet to "belong" on a College campus. Had a few closer friends and cycled through life slowly the first year. Discovered Ekaterina Gordeeva's figure skating, and found my true idols. Signed up for YouTube, and began to gain viewers. Fell in love for the first time, and started dating. Diagnosed with skin disorder.
• 14 - 15 years: Freshman year. Attended the alternative online learning program within in-person high school, made amazing bonds with my three teachers. Found inspiration within English teacher's writing, forming my blog with the name "Bridgette's Diary" relating to his award-winning novel. Idaho for summer vacation. Diagnosed with allergic reaction towards dairy products, and experienced a breast cyst.
• 15 - 16 years: Sophomore year. Enrolled in a alternative high school program with good status. Had a rough patch and made a few relationship/general life mistakes, but learned to forgive myself-- it is the only way we can improve ourselves. Struggled with poor friendships and enjoyed a trip to Vegas to celebrate the end of the school year. For 16th birthday, I re-connected with friend Mark/we began to date, and I received my Nikon.
• 16 - 17 years: Junior year. Received many College request letters and was invited on many educational seminar trips. Still deciding where and what I will study, but maintaining healthy relationships with those around me. Visiting San Juan Island this summer vacation. On the road to curing skin disorder and made much progress with GAD.