If you haven't read Part One of this two-part post, please do not continue. I must release that I have permission when writing this post to disclose personal information about my partner and I's pasts.

I thought, another faux paus I should talk about that has been causing the most obvious roadblock for myself and my intimate relationship is the fact that I live such a different lifestyle than Mark's immediate family (who, I am blessed to have a healthy relationship with).

Both of our parents' parenting styles are looked down upon from different groups of people. Which you may choose to look down upon, reader, I don't know. I think both sets of parents have their curses and blessings, and both have done right for their own children. I'm here to bring criticism and gratitude to the surface, to sum up an issue affecting my life, advocating for close relationships between parents and their teens.

My parents have a very alternative way of parenting, not the norm you find in most Southern states and traditional, religious family backgrounds. For me, this worked. It certainly will not work for every kid, that's why I call it The Kathryn Parenting Style. My parents have techniques fully built upon the trust within our relationship. If I screwed up, I got a punishment (no TV for a few weeks, no sweets, no "playdates" with friends, etc). If I didn't listen or didn't do what I promised I would, I would be scolded. I was given a very large amount of freedom as soon as I hit my pre-teen years. Of course, at that point I couldn't have the boys I liked over, but I could go to stores alone and buy my own things--I was trusted to buy appropriate clothing, which taught me how to. I was taught how to get groceries as soon as I got a car (another way of them celebrating my freedom), giving me money management techniques, while still having my financial portion of life taken care of and provided for until I can find a steady job in College, due to this ever-changing American economy.

Mark's parents have a pretty traditional way of parenting, with a few better alterations to make their rules more modern. They like to set boundaries about the littler things before testing the waters, which I must admit, is the type of parent I may very well become in my future. Now, I'm no parent, but with my education in Soc and Psych, when I see a parent so worried about something that they can't explain their reasoning properly, it sends off a red flag in my mind that maybe they have a lowered trust level with this child and can't give them the freedom, because the parents feel they don't deserve it. This is the case with Mark, whether it's obvious or subconscious. He went through a rebellious phase, met all the wrong people and made some pretty bad choices. As for the financial aspect, Mark has had to work, as he says: "for every dime I've ever made". Of course, his parents provide food and shelter for him, and love, but not the extra things. This taught Mark the value of money early on. A positive difference between my parents and his.

I am talking so intimately about this matter, to the level that some might call intrusive, because my voice cares to make a difference in the lives of teenagers and parents. I feel this parenting situation in particular is something so common in our society and shouldn't be: The Age Factor. My parents never saw age, they saw how much they could believe me. Of course, they listened to the law and didn't let me get into trouble, but they set limits based upon my dignity and trustworthiness. Like I explained, this only works for Kathryn, because she has been so dormant regarding rebellion all her life--personal life choice. Mark's parents also never saw age, in the opposite way. No matter how many years progressed, Mark didn't get the free experiences I have been able to capture while I was younger. I've been with Mark for nearly 2 years now, known him for 11, and have always seen him moreso sheltered than myself, which again, isn't necessarily a bad thing, and Mark doesn't fret about it--it has merely affected both our lives since we began dating.

Here's an example of what I mean... Mark and I tried hard to pitch the idea of a 48 hour trip to Port Townsend, Washington, one of the days sleeping in lodging alone without parents, getting picked up the next morning. Keep in mind, Mark and I both don't engage in unprotected sex, drinking or drug usage, and both sets of our parents are aware of that. His parents declined the idea without much of an explanation, which I'm not going to beat to the ground, because I respect that was their choice. My parents liked the idea. They looked at it as a way for us young adults to be out on our own, living life and learning how to get our own groceries, transportation, setting boundaries in every-day life situations. Maybe Mark's parents weren't raised in such a way of having extreme freedom. My mom, on the other hand, experienced more freedom than any of us. Her mom, my grandmother, let her go to Scotland right out of high school with her partner. I know what you're thinking--she probably came back with police escort, or #3 on the way, right? Wrong. She learned how to manage herself in society and loved learning about her family's rich history. Put this into perspective: Mark and I were asking for a 2 day trip, not a 20 day trip.

Either way the cards decided to be dealt, what I couldn't seem get over was why Mark had less freedom than I did, when he was of legal age in the U.S. to do whatever the heck he wanted to without his parents' consent. Then, the thought struck me: until he moves out, and has his own steady job, his parents will set their own rules. I never realized that this entire time, my parents weren't just throwing around freedom without setting boundaries--they were looking in my best interest and well-being. They are two of the rare parents that are so in-tune with what their child needs, that they found a path that best works for their child. One day, Mark will look back while sorting through the goods and the bads within his childhood, and thank his parents for raising him the way they have. For whatever reasons they have behind their restrictions, I know the intention is a positive one. One I may never work with or understand, but will accept and learn to admire.

Mark has this tolerable personality, you see, one that makes it easier on his parents to get what they want from him. Yes, I am chuckling as I type this post. He lacks a strong backbone, has an automatic selflessness nature and wants everyone to be as happy as they can be, and is willing to sacrifice his own happiness for theirs (a trait at least one of his parents shares very strongly). A lot of my parents' guidelines stemmed from my personality and theirs growing up as well--freedom-thirsty, independent, blunt, and intolerant. While I physically rebelled the least, I emotionally rebelled the most. To this day, I am not pregnant, have not engaged in unprotected sex, have not taken a beer at a party, nor a cigarette, and am happy without touching an illegal substance. To this day, Mark is not engaging in any of the above, and supports me in my pure choices, making them his own. We have both changed a lot for each other, for the better. I love our parents for making us who we are--the two kids that fit so darn well together, regardless of their opposites.

I mentioned I had a very intricate relationship before, didn't I? The guy is Mark. You remember, the sweet man who swept me off my feet and made me an honest woman, whatever that may mean. Relationships are never peaches and cream, and I wanted to share my biggest relationship faux paus from an objective point of view--I want younger people to take from this post a little bit of inspiration to embrace their own relationship's pitfalls.

When I write this post, you must understand that I mean no hurt feelings; I'm purely stating facts and feelings from my perspective. I do not feel it is acceptable to write a lifestyle, "inspirational" young blog without releasing every detail about your life that is socially accepted or that you feel comfortable with. The situations I am about to discuss have been serious roadblocks in my life for quite some time, and I feel it is okay to come clean to my loyal blog readers, family and friends. I'm coming out of the relationship baggage closet, per se, and throwing out all my old, kept secrets (or ripped up/torn clothing, you could also say) along with this change. This is not a debate post or a call for action--this is merely therapeutic release to put my worries at ease and start a new chapter in this great big book called Life, pushing these long-kept conflicts off the pages.

Ever since I began to hold a intimate relationship with my sweetheart, a portion of his family began to dig nasty vibes in my direction, or at least from what I could tell. I heard quite a decent amount of gossip that they had nothing but negative connotations to make in regards to who I was or how our relationship apparently panned out on numerous occasions, never getting a straight answer when I would politely inquire about the matter. Whether this happens to be true or not, I can feel the tension in the air when I'm around them, and to be quite honest: it makes me queasy.

How can people who barely know you make such harsh judgment about you from the get-go, or exclude you from certain social events? I don't know, and maybe never will. All I know is that my sweetheart and I are the best thing to have ever happened to each of our lives. I have held him when he had a bad day, let him cry on my shoulder about bigger things and laugh on my tummy about littler things. I have seen him angry, sad, gleeful, hopeful, and extremely confused. We have been through any personal pitfall you could imagine, and it has made us the strongest couple we can be at this moment. We wasted no memory and no new experiences.

This makes me think about the morale codes that different people hold in this world about boundaries, regardless of the color of their skin or the country they were raised in. My morale within relationships is this: regardless if you are family or family-friend, you are to be included in family gatherings (to an extent) and accepted, even if not liked or adorned. If there is a wedding party or baby shower, and you know there may be a "plus 1" after 6 months of a relationship, you make the seating work. Fellow humans are everything to me and I certainly won't exclude them from my heart and soul without a fair chance. At my wedding party, and baby shower, I will make the new teenager that has just met and formed something special with my family member feel welcome. That's the kind of gal I am--welcoming and sincere, no matter your background or burden.

Speaking generally, and in context: What possesses some people to be so close-minded and unable to accept change? People are going to live their lives and make a personal choice to love who they love, and life will continue on, no matter what you have to say about it. Why can't we all be loving, embracing, strengthening, and healing to other, equally weak human beings? Why can't they come to social dinners or informal parties? We don't need to count them as family, or even as a friend--just human. We don't need to wave hello, or even smile. Just include them and make them feel as if they matter, even if our personal agendas skip a beat. Reach out a hand in their time of trouble and rejoice in their happiness--don't attempt to destroy it or dabble in it providing your "two cents". It just is. Once you learn to accept, you learn to forgive what you cannot change.

This is my belief. I am curious about yours. Maybe you could shed some light on to something I am perhaps missing, coming from my point of view and background. God loves each and every one, even those I cannot seem to understand. From that stems my peace. "The hard part is that we often need to let go over and over again. It isn’t like pulling off a band-aid. Old wounds have a way of resurfacing as we stumble, learn, and grow. This doesn’t make us weak. It makes us human. Today if you find yourself clinging to a painful memory, ask yourself: How can I focus on healing in the present, instead of living in the past?" ~ www.tinybuddha.com

For my and Mark's 6 month anniversary, I created a photo gift for him to always have on his bedside table whenever he gets lonely or misses me.

I started by buying a simple photo album, which I lucked out with at Jo-Ann's Fabrics due to their cheap sale prices that day. I vowed not to spend more than $15.

Then, I went to RiteAid and printed out about 20 photos that we had taken over the months (which reminds me that I need to add the next 9 months!) and arranged sets in my mind that were to go into the album.

After I had the sets formed, I turned over the photos one-by-one, and with a permanent pen, I wrote down little sentiments that remind me of Mark, including letters, inside jokes, or words, and the little things he does that make me feel adored/why I chose him for my partner in crime!

Then, I layed in the photos, and let him do the exploring. To this day, Mark adores the photo album, and it will be cherished for years to come. I have been taking part in scrapbooking summer camps since I was 11 years old, and have found a quiet passion within keeping memories alive ever since. I encourage you all to make a photo album for someone you love, or about something you love. You won't regret it.


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This post is part of the category "79 Things". Click to see the complete series of 79 Things.

Last week, my sweetheart Mark graduated from high school. I cannot explain the glee inside of me and the happiness that came over me seeing him move his tassel and toss his cap. No matter how silly they may look in those caps, you cannot be more than proudly ecstatic for your graduate. He is mine.

Everyone has their little quirks, but everyone also has a list of the quirks that do not bode well in their personal relationships and partners. Above is a photo of my partner Mark and I enjoying a nice photography session at the beach in Lincoln City, Oregon. The reason I have picked Mark to be mine is because he fulfills all my dreams, and helps me realize what I need in my future family.

Here's mine in no particular order:

1). Cheating. Loyalty schmoyalty. Unless you're going to devote your heart and soul to mine, you're out of the "game".

2). Lying. Dishonesty is the biggest part of a relationship's pitfalls, in my opinion. If you're not honest with one another, it just isn't gonna work!

3). Bad hygiene. At least brush and shower regularly, and maybe keep up a little maintenance work here and there.

4). Lack of self-esteem. The most unattractive thing a guy or girl can do to push my buttons (in a bad way!) is have low self confidence. So icky! You are beautiful the way you are and are talented in your own ways. Me being with you is proof of that.

5). Dirty. Clean up your surroundings--at least keeping your bedroom and office space nicely neat. You don't have to be a neat-freak like me, I'll do that work around the house for you when we move in together. Make yourself look presentable.

6). Immaturity and irresponsibility. When you date me, you should be ready for a launch of lava - a crazed, but serious adventure. You don't know where the road will take you, but you should have a plan in case you get burned by la-de-da-ing. Know how to be a good friend, citizen, and have faith in yourself that you will one day become a great mother or father.

7). Drugs. Again with the immaturity and irresponsibility! Drugs are for kids and those not able to face the truth of reality - a harsh one, without a sedative or "help" to pull you along the cold, dark path. It doesn't hurt to have a little bit of fun, but an addiction can lead to an ever-lasting hell. A ride that I have been on while watching someone I loved suffer, and am never getting on again. Life is being able to feel and experience truth.

8). Unnecessary pressure. Whether it is from friends or family, I've had my fair share. No one should have to endure a judging, cruel "welcome to my lifestyle!" that makes them feel uncomfortable. If you're friends are lacking integrity or your family is one of those judge-before-they-know-ya types, I'm reluctant to make a safe home in your "hospitable" environment. To me, it's common sense to be welcomed by someone who you haven't hurt... or you know, spoken to.

9). Lack of thoughtfulness. I don't like individuals who are cold, lacking sentimentality and forgiveness when things don't quite go right. I like someone who will pull me in closer, whisper everything will be all right, and push aside senseless arguments and disagreements.

Okay, so as I mentioned before, we all have our problems and traits that make us uniquely goofy. I wouldn't really leave someone if they didn't clean off their desk after a work day or made one fib of a mistake, but these traits are some things I value and seek in a partner. I encourage you to jot down your own list, even if you already have a good idea of one in your head. This isn't being high maintenance or picky - it is being true to your values, what/who you are, and what you want for your future.

I was flipping through a book with ideas for blog entries, and came across one I do quite like (a lot!)... form an interview with a best friend or partner that explains why you chose them to be in your life as they are. So, for this entry, I will pull out the best in my partner, Mark, and prove why I think he is the perfect man.

Me: What are the top three personality traits you pride yourself on having? How do they help you in every day life?
Mark: Friendly, patient and caring. They help me focus on my work and be more productive because I'm not worrying about drama, or other nonsensical people. Being patient and caring also helps me compromise with loved ones and people within my community.

Me: What is your aspired career path, and why?
Mark: Some sort of an electronics technician, but I would love to work with communications on water. Some sort of boating. I have a background in these things, and grew up around them. You could say I have electricity in my blood!

Me: What are the top three personality traits you look for in a partner? Why?
Mark: Caring, respectful and tolerant. I want someone who respects me for who I am and what I do, and even though they may not understand what I do or why I do it, they still support it.

Me: As a graduating high school student, what advice would you give to freshman just entering the 4 year experience?
Mark: Get the hard classes out of the way first and don't slack off or screw up! If you are a good student and work hard, your senior year will be very easy. If you have a chance, go to a tech or vocational school - easy credits in quick time, and good work experience for future careers. Don't give in to peer pressure, and be your own person. Only you know who you really are and what you believe, so don't let others try to influence you.

Me: Through the multiple hardships you've endured in your lifetime, what is the biggest piece of wisdom you will take?
Mark: Everyone copes at different times and different ways. No one can speed up the coping process, nor will it hit the person right away all the time. Life goes on - I know that's a cliche, but it does get better. Remember that yesterday is history and tomorrow is never promised.

Me: What is the drive behind you helping out your community in multiple examples of volunteer service?
Mark: I suppose I instilled the drive in myself, with support from my friends and family. I found the community service type that was right for me and I think that everyone throughout their life should do something to help out their community.

Me: Whether negative or positive experience, what is one lesson you have come to understand about parenting that you will instill in your future children?
Mark: To let them have freedom and not be an overly-controlling parent. It also needs to be a two-way street of communication, not just the parent telling the child what to do or how something will play out.

Me: Some find it hard to follow their own advice and wisdom. After a variety of hardships, how do you continue on, besides the wisdom you have learned?
Mark: I generally move slow, and take it one week at a time.

Me: What are some of your favorite hobbies?
Mark: Photography - I like to see what I can do with my camera and experiment with at least one new setting each time I shoot, or angle something differently. Amateur radio, because I enjoy building and seeing how things work, and meeting new people all over the world. Hiking - I enjoy being outdoors and observing nature.

Me: What are some of your pet peeves?
Mark: People that jaywalk, people that don't attempt to use correct spelling or grammar in text messages,  people that don't try in school, but still show up.

Me: Who are a few of your idols or role models? Why?
Mark: You! I wish I had you as an idol earlier on in high school so I could have seen how good of a student I could have been. It gives me something to work towards. You are honest and you speak your mind, which I have never been that great at. Bud - one of the owners of Buddipole atenna company. He shows a small dream that you start building in your garage can turn into a huge company. He is in his early 70s and still goes into his office and works. I also look up to my friend Tom; he is energetic and full of new ideas or projects to work on.

Throughout my relationship, there has been a lot of differences. Between my partner Mark and I, we make up the most unique and balanced couple I know within our age group, and that is not always the most wonderful thing.

Mark and I are both very techy individuals. We love the Internet, complicated gadgets and whatnot. He works with HAM, an amateur radio group. I run my website, and work slightly on web design and compilation. We both are big fans of social networking: Twitter, Facebook and more.

Mark is an introvert, and loves being adventurous in the outdoors: camping, hiking, and enjoying a sunny day. I am very extroverted and an intense home-body. I love a good T.V. show and meal, under comfy blankets on the couch, on a rainy day. His nature is to accept anyone, regardless of how unnecessary their influence could be on his life. My nature is more judgmental, from an outsider's point of view, accepting all but trusting few--aware of the danger in situations. He is very patient, quiet, and purely kind. I am very loud, blunt, and deeply sentimental. We both pursue similar moral challenges and decisions, which brings us together at the end of the day, regardless of how different our personal belief systems are.

We both perform community service. He is on two Search & Rescue teams which he often trains with and explores his social skills within. I work at the library in our old Elementary school, and have helped run the public library nearby, including summer reading programs for kids. I humbly run this blog, which reaches out to teens globally, where I can share my message of love and sympathy for the most important issues. We are both passionate about our jobs and making a difference in our little worlds.

Mark and I are good compromisers: we go on muddy camping trips together, and stay in hotels with not a lot of walking distance to the town attractions. We have made some of the same friends, and have immensely separate walks of life included in each of our social circles... at one time, he was even friends with a individual who excessively bullied me (which truly shows you just how different we are). We enjoy cooking up a storm in the kitchen together, grabbing a coffee, and discussing world issues, contemplating what this crazy life would have been like if we had never found each other.

How important to YOU is difference in your romantic relationship? Do you feel safe being with someone where opposites attract, or do you feel comfortable in a similar environment with not a whole lot of lifestyle change? Growing up, I never envisioned I would be intimate with a person who liked hot weather, long hikes and the NatGeo channel... that's too much like my father!

Now, I am slowly learning to make my peace with our differences, and accept I am in a mature, give-and-take relationship that is not molded by perfect individuals, nor a fairy tale life. There is arguing, sweat, tears, laughter, and big smiles. I would not change that for anything. Today, Mark and I are celebrating our one year anniversary.

"Mr. Right is waiting for me. I'll find him someday."

Those were the words I spoke just two years ago while participating in my skating rink's show camp. While nearing the end of my teenage years and applying for Colleges, moving on with my big life isn't easy, but necessary, and that includes the dating scene.

They say most people have "a type". I suppose I did. I used to date "cute", brunette boys who were loud, smartasses, and could make me laugh constantly. Unfortunately, many of them suffered depression and/or emotional shutdown before I had met them. I didn't pay attention to the trust level as much, but still yearned for a relationship where I felt needed and loved.

Now? I date a beautifully classy, young man who is tender with my feelings, a listener, and puts up with my crazy beliefs. We have a healthy, 50-50 relationship, laugh almost non-stop, and always have bright smiles on our faces. While he might be down-in-the-dumps for a little while, he takes steps to change and work through his feelings, just as I do. Did I find my Mr. Right? Well, not exactly. He's more of a "Mr. Maybe"--a man that can cause you to consider a marriage, children, and the white picket-fence, but who you are involved with within the time period of constant change and growth... certainly not the time to decide.

As for Mr. Right? I'll still find him someday. Or maybe, I already have.

Celebrating Valentine's Day has always been something very cliche in my opinion, and never really struck me as something I would enjoy or relish in.

Until I found Mark. Mark is my partner of nearly a year, and this is my first meaningful Valentine's Day with someone I know truly cares about me.

I decided to celebrate with Mark the day before Valentine's, on Sunday, and opened the door to a box of chocolates and roses. While I am a girl that adores being spoiled, I really dislike chocolate!

I always ask myself: "What's the matter with you? All your friends like chocolate...", and try my hardest to choke some down, but it never seems to be enjoyable. Too chewy, too rich, and makes you gain weight fast. I just don't see the point.

I gotta say: it is truly annoying hearing about all these girlfriends dragging their boys to movies on Valentine's Day, acting like it's a mushy-gushy holiday. You know what my boyfriend and I did? Pigged out on pizza in bed. Now that's a man's holiday!

This year I came up with the idea of buying little childhood Valentines and writing small messages to my closest of friends. Of course, I didn't buy the Barbie or Justin Bieber Valentines. They were girly cartoon animals--just enough to get by and get the "cutesy" point across.

Not only Mark gave me a Valentine this year, I had friends and my parents who gave me cards, candies, and even some flameless candle sets for my "meditation corner". I guess what they say is true: give, and you will receive!

Even though I'm not a very Valentine's-Day-girl, and understand a lot of people struggle with the romantic tension of the occasion, I thank the people who showed their love and gave me little gifts. I hope your Valentine's Day was just as warm, and you found something (or someone) to be loving towards.

Dated to September 5th, 2010.

This week was the hardest week of my life in quite a while. I decided to put things to rest with my boyfriend of five months. Him and I had met in elementary school, known each other for 11 years, three of those spent disconnected. One day we decided to re-connect via Facebook (typical new-age story, right?). It was bliss. Pure bliss. Vacations together, laughter, real feelings.

Sadly, many conflicts arose that were too hard to conquer alone: being blamed/put down by surrounding people, dishonesty and lies, disloyalty, etc. I gave everything to this guy. My heart, my soul, my mind, my body. And for what? A lousy ring and an insincere “I’m sorry”, perhaps even a physical illness. I feel bad for myself. I feel very, very bad for myself.

In some ways I blame myself for letting my soul get so sucked in to the whole imaginary, picturesque ideal of being in a head-over-heels relationship with an intelligent, loving boy who would always protect my heart. I guess this city just is not the place to find a genuine, warm prince charming.

I am packing up my heart’s little pieces in this wooden box of memories. Maybe one day I will reach in and rejoice upon the good times of the boy whom I love(d) so very, very much.

Blog post dated to November 2009.

"We'd rather skate on the thinnest ice.
Fingers failed us before they froze.
And frostbite bit down on all our toes." - Owl City

A turning point into teenage reality. A huge step in your growth and experience. Typically, you would feel a sense of inner remorse, but I actually feel closer to myself on a more intimate level.

Possibly the level of intimacy between him and I was meant to be. And that it was meant to teach me a lesson. One of knowledge and comfort. I know one thing is for sure: I love passion. I love love. All I dream of is a level of romance that no one could explain.

But for now, I'll close this sentimental blog post with this: mere acts of romantic expression are not to be taken lightly. Force only causes scars. As I like to say, let your halo keep you safe. Don't give away your innocence to somebody who takes it and runs into the darkness.

I can handle so much. So much more than I thought I could.