Handling the Harsh Hooligans

This topic is inspired by a list of "things to blog about" written by Chris Brogan. Ever since I was very young, I have encountered numerous critics, judging my outsides and the inside character I confidently hold. I think being confident has had a lot to deal with how I handle critics.

These are a few of my "tips" to consider for yourself when critics try to knock you down:

• What do these critics spend the most of their time on? This thought is the one you may consider spending the majority of set time pondering. If this person who is attacking you for your way of life doesn't live a fulfilling, happy life, they are, in my observations, more likely to beat you down because of their lack of contentment in their own life. Most unhappy individuals who haven't reached enlightenment within therapy or their own coming-to-terms with the facts of life are less developed in the "happy-for-others" department. 


• How old are these critics? The majority of mine have been older. I had bullies when I was a child, but I can easily get along with 90% of the peers I meet without flaw. The reason mine were/are older is because the generation before my own held different expectations and morale of teenagers than my generation, so they receive my desire to beat the odds and become responsible (somewhat grow up too fast) with shock and do not understand how to react to it.


• What is the lifestyle of these critics? Did these individuals grow up with abuse or any form of damage to their self-esteem? That may play a part as well. Even worse, many people who came from a family life that wasn't very open with their negative feelings (nor honest) don't develop a recognized sense of reality and how you are supposed to treat human beings in this society, at least with our national, American norms. Regardless, maybe they weren't raised in the same society and just flat-out do not understand you! This can offer some empathy to the attacker.


• Would you ever critique someone for the reason this critic is critiquing you? If you find the main reason these people are disliking you, maybe you can sympathize with it. For example, I judge people based on their morale--not their outside appearance, income or background. I judge people for the here-and-now, the conscious choices they make on a daily basis that I perhaps do not agree with. If you disagree within political issues or recreational behaviors, maybe you can see that person more clearly. We all judge people and there is no way of getting around that fact.

Just because someone may disagree or have a beef with you on how you live your life, it doesn't give them the right to criticize or make fun of you for it. There are so many bloggers out there sharing exactly what is on their minds with no reserve. I use a good amount of reserve, as a matter of fact, because a light-hearted lifestyle blog should not be taken so darn seriously. However, I still like to cut to the chase and let my readers know exactly how I am feeling in a given moment. 

Right now, I'm feeling a bit discouraged by all of the weight given to every single person on this earth for being who they are. Yes, adults, I enjoy being mature and I enjoy proving I am ahead of my game, because if I wasn't, I would be in deep, deep trouble--predictably harming my body with substances, not giving a "f**k" about my life and having little to no dreams for my future like a good portion of teenage society in this day in age. Do you try to convey the message that it is GOOD to hold that standard of success? I honestly don't believe so. Self-destruction and hatred is not something I mess with, and I can't apologize for being me. 

Never apologize for being who you are, and never bash others for their faults; we all have them. If you enjoy smoking a joint responsibly, good for you. If you enjoy drinking until you're sick, good for you. And, if you like getting good grades, good for you! If you like respecting your parents, good for you. If you like mouthing off to your teachers, good for you. The world is your oyster and you decide what will nurture it. As Colleen Zaruba says, "The world is your oyster; you are the pearl, nestled in the infinite sea of love."