Letting Myself Go

Something I have never significantly discussed on my blog before is my self image and esteem. I have written "how to be confident" posts, but not anything about how I view myself.

This post is titled "Letting Myself Go" because I have heard countless comments on my weight over the past couple years of high school, from anonymous people and petty gossip. A bit surprised? I was, too. I am not the skinniest person on this planet, and damn proud I am not a size 2 in jeans. I am not perfect, and I am blogging right now to let you all know that I know it.

I am speaking up for the voiceless, abused teenage girls everywhere that hear comments on their physical appearance from classmates and passerbys, instead of details about the gorgeous insides of their souls.

I am slightly above, yet still in the realm of average weight for my height and age--I am not obese, nor fat, only a mere bit overweight, and I work to change that every day when I get moving, get off the couch and dance, do yoga, or walk for a while. To me, a fat person is a danger to themselves, eating junk food all day, piling on the pounds and toxins. The unattractiveness of this person is rooted in the ways they disregard their body's health, but their emotional unattractiveness is caused by deeper reasons and should not be measured by their weight.

I ADORE eating and fattening my belly up, as most people who know me well could vouch for, although, I only eat a healthy diet with a sugary sweet about once a week, along with a few Starbucks spread across a couple weeks. Because of my diet restrictions, I do not consume Cow's milk, causing my stomach to be happy, and (bonus!) lowering my calorie intake to much less by not asking for whole milk or whipped cream at Starbucks.

If any of you are asking yourselves, "Man, then how does she have any flab on her whatsoever?", the answer can be found in my heritage. My Caucasian relatives, in a nutshell, are quite heavy and didn't take good care of themselves for periods in their lives, and my other half of lineage just so happens to be Hispanic, with heavier people in their lineage, too! While the stereotype of "chubby Mexicans" might not always prove to be the case, I do have a risk for gaining on the pounds because of my genetic makeup.

Ever since I was young, I enriched myself in positive body image and a high self-esteem--believing I am beautiful, sexy, hot, cute in any shape or form, and while I am not the perfect girl, I am the perfect Kathryn. There are numerous girls in this world with my name, probably more than most any other female name, but there is only one of me, and no matter how kooky or crazy I am, I am the best form of me that there is.

I know it's a cliche, but no matter your size, you should feel happy with your body, and if you are not, you need to work on your body for YOU, not for anybody else.