When I write this post, you must understand that I mean no hurt feelings; I'm purely stating facts and feelings from my perspective. I do not feel it is acceptable to write a lifestyle, "inspirational" young blog without releasing every detail about your life that is socially accepted or that you feel comfortable with. The situations I am about to discuss have been serious roadblocks in my life for quite some time, and I feel it is okay to come clean to my loyal blog readers, family and friends. I'm coming out of the relationship baggage closet, per se, and throwing out all my old, kept secrets (or ripped up/torn clothing, you could also say) along with this change. This is not a debate post or a call for action--this is merely therapeutic release to put my worries at ease and start a new chapter in this great big book called Life, pushing these long-kept conflicts off the pages.
Ever since I began to hold a intimate relationship with my sweetheart, a portion of his family began to dig nasty vibes in my direction, or at least from what I could tell. I heard quite a decent amount of gossip that they had nothing but negative connotations to make in regards to who I was or how our relationship apparently panned out on numerous occasions, never getting a straight answer when I would politely inquire about the matter. Whether this happens to be true or not, I can feel the tension in the air when I'm around them, and to be quite honest: it makes me queasy.
How can people who barely know you make such harsh judgment about you from the get-go, or exclude you from certain social events? I don't know, and maybe never will. All I know is that my sweetheart and I are the best thing to have ever happened to each of our lives. I have held him when he had a bad day, let him cry on my shoulder about bigger things and laugh on my tummy about littler things. I have seen him angry, sad, gleeful, hopeful, and extremely confused. We have been through any personal pitfall you could imagine, and it has made us the strongest couple we can be at this moment. We wasted no memory and no new experiences.
This makes me think about the morale codes that different people hold in this world about boundaries, regardless of the color of their skin or the country they were raised in. My morale within relationships is this: regardless if you are family or family-friend, you are to be included in family gatherings (to an extent) and accepted, even if not liked or adorned. If there is a wedding party or baby shower, and you know there may be a "plus 1" after 6 months of a relationship, you make the seating work. Fellow humans are everything to me and I certainly won't exclude them from my heart and soul without a fair chance. At my wedding party, and baby shower, I will make the new teenager that has just met and formed something special with my family member feel welcome. That's the kind of gal I am--welcoming and sincere, no matter your background or burden.
Speaking generally, and in context: What possesses some people to be so close-minded and unable to accept change? People are going to live their lives and make a personal choice to love who they love, and life will continue on, no matter what you have to say about it. Why can't we all be loving, embracing, strengthening, and healing to other, equally weak human beings? Why can't they come to social dinners or informal parties? We don't need to count them as family, or even as a friend--just human. We don't need to wave hello, or even smile. Just include them and make them feel as if they matter, even if our personal agendas skip a beat. Reach out a hand in their time of trouble and rejoice in their happiness--don't attempt to destroy it or dabble in it providing your "two cents". It just is. Once you learn to accept, you learn to forgive what you cannot change.
This is my belief. I am curious about yours. Maybe you could shed some light on to something I am perhaps missing, coming from my point of view and background. God loves each and every one, even those I cannot seem to understand. From that stems my peace. "The hard part is that we often need to let go over and over again. It isn’t like pulling off a band-aid. Old wounds have a way of resurfacing as we stumble, learn, and grow. This doesn’t make us weak. It makes us human. Today if you find yourself clinging to a painful memory, ask yourself: How can I focus on healing in the present, instead of living in the past?" ~ www.tinybuddha.com
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