Deal Breakers

Everyone has their little quirks, but everyone also has a list of the quirks that do not bode well in their personal relationships and partners. Above is a photo of my partner Mark and I enjoying a nice photography session at the beach in Lincoln City, Oregon. The reason I have picked Mark to be mine is because he fulfills all my dreams, and helps me realize what I need in my future family.

Here's mine in no particular order:

1). Cheating. Loyalty schmoyalty. Unless you're going to devote your heart and soul to mine, you're out of the "game".

2). Lying. Dishonesty is the biggest part of a relationship's pitfalls, in my opinion. If you're not honest with one another, it just isn't gonna work!

3). Bad hygiene. At least brush and shower regularly, and maybe keep up a little maintenance work here and there.

4). Lack of self-esteem. The most unattractive thing a guy or girl can do to push my buttons (in a bad way!) is have low self confidence. So icky! You are beautiful the way you are and are talented in your own ways. Me being with you is proof of that.

5). Dirty. Clean up your surroundings--at least keeping your bedroom and office space nicely neat. You don't have to be a neat-freak like me, I'll do that work around the house for you when we move in together. Make yourself look presentable.

6). Immaturity and irresponsibility. When you date me, you should be ready for a launch of lava - a crazed, but serious adventure. You don't know where the road will take you, but you should have a plan in case you get burned by la-de-da-ing. Know how to be a good friend, citizen, and have faith in yourself that you will one day become a great mother or father.

7). Drugs. Again with the immaturity and irresponsibility! Drugs are for kids and those not able to face the truth of reality - a harsh one, without a sedative or "help" to pull you along the cold, dark path. It doesn't hurt to have a little bit of fun, but an addiction can lead to an ever-lasting hell. A ride that I have been on while watching someone I loved suffer, and am never getting on again. Life is being able to feel and experience truth.

8). Unnecessary pressure. Whether it is from friends or family, I've had my fair share. No one should have to endure a judging, cruel "welcome to my lifestyle!" that makes them feel uncomfortable. If you're friends are lacking integrity or your family is one of those judge-before-they-know-ya types, I'm reluctant to make a safe home in your "hospitable" environment. To me, it's common sense to be welcomed by someone who you haven't hurt... or you know, spoken to.

9). Lack of thoughtfulness. I don't like individuals who are cold, lacking sentimentality and forgiveness when things don't quite go right. I like someone who will pull me in closer, whisper everything will be all right, and push aside senseless arguments and disagreements.

Okay, so as I mentioned before, we all have our problems and traits that make us uniquely goofy. I wouldn't really leave someone if they didn't clean off their desk after a work day or made one fib of a mistake, but these traits are some things I value and seek in a partner. I encourage you to jot down your own list, even if you already have a good idea of one in your head. This isn't being high maintenance or picky - it is being true to your values, what/who you are, and what you want for your future.