Anxiety : Generalized & Separation

Today, I thought I would uncover something that deeply affects my life (and many others'), in greater depth.

I have a generalized anxiety disorder that makes it hard for me to function as a normal teenager. I first realized it as far back as pre-school, but it started to get considerably worse around 1st grade. Sadly, I was not officially diagnosed until I was 12 years of age and didn't start seeking serious help until age 14!

"What is a generalized anxiety disorder?", you may ask. Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) is an anxiety disorder characterized by chronic anxiety, exaggerated worry and tension, even when there is little or nothing to provoke it. People with GAD can't seem to shake their concerns. Their worries are accompanied by physical symptoms, especially fatigue, headaches, muscle tension, muscle aches, difficulty swallowing, trembling, twitching, irritability, sweating, and hot flashes. (-NIMH)

I rarely get panic attacks these days, but had severe attacks every day for several months during the 6th grade due to harsh bullying I went through at school, and separation anxiety from my parents. I was adopted at six weeks old, and my theory is: due to the abandonment aspect that many newborn adopted children feel, it resulted, for me, through separation fear. In my childhood, this caused me to act bossy and clingy towards friends, parents, and the like.

"What is separation anxiety disorder?" Separation Anxiety Disorder (SAD) is a psychological condition in which an individual experiences excessive anxiety regarding separation from home or from people to whom the individual has a strong emotional attachment (like a father or mother). It becomes a disorder when the separation reaction becomes strong enough to impair people's ability to conduct their day to day lives and relationships (-WIKI)

My original SAD transformed into GAD later in life, and my fear fortunately gave up on the grip that was holding onto my parents, and began to focus more on everything around me, making it easier for me to control my fears.

Today, I have changed a lot. I have built a stable relationship with the important people in my life and gained confidence in myself. However, there are still underlying issues and I seek therapy to advise me on the path of coping with GAD.

Think of anxiety this way: A clam in a shell. The clam needs its shell to survive, and everything outside the shell is unknown, unfathomable. I'm the clam, and I'll surely learn how to live outside my shell with time.