My Precious Kid

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Back then, kids had manners to be cherished. While they still did grow up to get drunk with friends and hold mediocre standards of morale a good percentage of the time due to the lack of education regarding poor choices, their parents were able to control them in restaurants and public places as small children.

My mother recounts of a similar time when she was growing into adulthood herself. My mom always talks of her child self as being quite well-adjusted and a conforming child—one who would do her homework without her mother asking. She was kind and listened to instruction.

Kids now-a-days make for a freakshow of society. Screaming, throwing and slamming things into other things. (Now, I know there are poorly behaved kids from every generation, but from my observations of stories told, more so now). This not only annoys fellow people in public, but embarrasses the parents (you would think…).

A new trend has heightened among the past several years. I say heightened, because it was there many years before, just not so apparent in the parenting culture. This trend is the: “My kid always does right and never wrong.” denial.

A restaurant in Pennsylvania recently made a new rule of their own that bans children under the age of six from entering due to their poor mannered parents that didn’t feel the need to calm their kids down when they started making a ruckus. These parents proceeded to make claims about how this new rule “offended” them.

As you may be able to tell, I’m truly not writing this to gripe about the restaurant owner. I have a particular bone to pick with the parents of these misbehaving children…

As one individual mentioned on the “comments” page regarding the restaurant ban via news reports, “The ‘kids will be kids’ cliche only goes so far.” The parent needs to take responsibility for their child’s actions. Ever seen the show Supernanny? Many parents just like the parents on that show are in denial that their parenting skills are the root of their child’s poor behavior.

Living in the teenage society now, I can tell you, not many of these kids turned out to be “the best kids”. I have a friend who was the biggest little snot in elementary school who has now developed into a mature young man. I have an acquaintance who was the sweetest, bubbliest girl, now hooked to drugs and hardcore partying. And of course, I know a few that never ever changed. So, for these “bad” kids that don’t change - where is this behavior coming from?

There’s a good chance for kids who exhibit steady bad behavior throughout their life that there is little peer interference. Those who were good and turned bad more than likely got sucked into peer pressure and hip behavior of the century, as most of my “studying” has led me to believe. Therefore, all this “bad behavior” is transferred right back onto the parent’s shoulders. What’s up, parents?

If I were the owner of that restaurant where I got snappy remarks from the parents when I asked them politely to calm their child down, I would say this: Come back with your kids in another six years and let me know what they’ve accomplished. This may sound harsh coming from someone who is not a parent herself, but it is coming from someone who has experienced the most foolish parenting tactics around, observing high and low the rules of her friends’ parents.

Can I say I’m surprised the majority of teens are hooked to drugs and lacking self confidence? No. As a final example, a teen is unlikely to comprehend the importance of morale if their parents used drugs as if they were nothing to worry about, nor punished the teen when they later used heavy drugs themselves. To me, bad parenting. To some, normal lifestyle. The smallest behavioral mistakes can turn into huge problems as you grow into adulthood.

This generation’s society has a warped vision of health and good karma, but all I have to say is this: I will never let my child live in such a miserable situation of poor judgement and public discrimination for as long as I can have control over that factor of their life. I will strive to provide the best parenting counselor for myself and my partner, and I will never abuse my child, nor lead them into thinking wrong is right due to lack of communication.

No kid is automatically “the best kid”. To their parent, maybe, but that doesn’t mean just because the parent is blinded by that infamous “my kid is always right”, that the kid is going to be treated positively by anyone else but their teenage friends. For the time being, perhaps kids will favor the party girl over a headstrong girl such as myself, but I guarantee that when the teenage buzz wears off, I will have held the morale that would have saved these kids a ton of heartache.

People earn their mature status through their wisdom, grace and loving sentiment, and not to wear it out, but: morale, and behaviors in relation to other human beings. Selflessness, honesty and respect. For that, I can applaud my parents for paying the bill and escorting me out of the restaurant if I ever was to throw a fit!