Vs. : A Realization of Life and its Quirks, Part VII

1). Bros vs. Hoes: Hoes. I personally don’t always believe in the “friends before partners” saying, considering many of my past “friends” have disapproved of my partners when they are perfectly normal and treating me great. Bros hardly know anything - always take your risks with the hoes first.

2). Instant Gratification vs. Long-Term Goals: Instant Gratification. I’m not the type of person to be able to wait around for goals to happen, especially if it is some kind of physical goal (a purchase or such), instead of a career or personal goal.

3). Pen vs. Pencil: Pen. I understand the easy use and choices involved with using a pencil, but I like the strokes of a pen much better. It looks much more permanent (well, perhaps that is because it is…).

4). Foucault vs. Chomsky: Omit question - don’t know enough about these.

5). Shark vs. Cancer: Cancer. There is one and every million people that survive a shark attack, take Bethany Hamilton for example, but I would much rather have a chance to die peacefully with time to say goodbye than be bloodily ravaged by a sea animal.

6). Leno vs. Conan: Leno. I honestly can’t explain how irritated Conan makes me. Stick-your-finger-down-your-throat irritated. Terrible humor from a not-so-nice guy. Leno is boring, I’ll give you that, but if I had to become a celebrity of some sort, I’d rather go on his show.

7). Bigfoot vs. Seven Abnormally Large Catfish with Fangs: Bigfoot. He’s actually not that frightening when you think about it, nor are catfish, but I’d rather have my lucky chance at spotting an urban legend than seeing things that can be found in a aquarium.

8). Form vs. Function: Form. Recently, I’ve been battling this craving for Apple products because of their delicious looking appearance, never reminding myself that a PC has much faster performance and durability for what I need. I’m guilty of superficiality… sue me!

9). Velociraptor vs. Pterodactyl: Velociraptor. Either one’s O.K., I just think the first looks more scary and tough. Enough with the wings already.

10). Pop vs. Soda: Soda. It has always been soda while I was growing up, “pop” was just a coined phrase to make “soda pop” easier to say.

11). Lick vs. Scratch: Scratch. I don’t know what I’m lickin’, but I don’t wanna!

12). The Romantics vs. The Modernists: The Modernists. I’m certainly a romantic at heart, but not an idealist, as many past decades have been modeled after. Modernists seem to have lacking imagination, which I certainly don’t. However, modernists know that not every romance works perfectly—realists like myself.

13). Lawrence of Arabia vs. Sandstorm: Sandstorm. I don’t get those tales, I’d rather the sand sweeps them far away so my brain doesn’t hurt.

14). Crunchy Peanut Butter vs. Smooth Peanut Butter: Smooth. Matter of tastebuds opinion; different strokes for different folks!

15). Video Game vs. Maturity: Maturity. Love this set, because it is SO true! I could never marry a guy or gal who loved video games. It doesn’t sit well with me.

16). Science vs. Apocalypse: Science. Did I mention I’m a realist? The apocalypse just isn’t going to happen… sorry!

17). Santa Clause vs. Easter Bunny vs. Cupid: Easter Bunny. First off, kids don’t care about Cupid, which rules him out of the category here. You know about Santa when you are five or six years old, therefore, I’m ruling him out as well. He becomes mundane after you get exactly what you asked your parents for every Xmas. The Easter Bunny is a constant source of entertainment! Face it. You never know what you’re going to get Easter morning, the egg hunts are a bunch of fun. Your parents don’t have to sit you down and have “the Easter Bunny isn’t real” talk—it’s implied.

18). Clothed vs. Naked: Naked. I love the end of the day when I can lay back, relax and have only underwear on in bed, surfing the web on my laptop, cozy in my safe haven. Clothes can get in the way. Or is underwear considered “clothing”? I guess so…

19). Frat Boy vs. Keg: Frat Boy. Kegs are for the weak and those that need popularity and alcohol to get them by. I’d stick to being frat boy, not kegging frat boy.

20). Cowboy vs. Matador: Matador. I have plenty friends who think both are equally attractive, and for me, my heart has been captured by more matadors than cowboys (not to mention the main matador was from Texas). Matadors are passionate, romantic and thrilling. Cowboys get their thrills from advertising America as the #1 and only country that matters, not to mention their stereotypical Republican viewpoints. No thanks.

21). NFL vs. NBA: NBA. C’mon, who wants to watch football anyway?

22). Flashback vs. Montage: Montage. I don’t see how these relate completely, but I’d rather have a preserve of my memories and be rarely able to flashback, compared to often, momentary glimpses into past events.

23). Parsley vs. Sage: Parsley. I haven’t tried sage on many of the edible things I have consumed, and I do like the physical appearance, just not the taste. Parsley can make anything burst with flavor.

24). Typewriter vs. Laptop: Laptop. Kidding me?

25). Parents vs. Teenager: Parents. Again, racking up the points in that stereotypical, authority answer category (ex: Cop vs. Robber)! You know my opinionated views on *most* teenagers, so for this broad answer, I’ll have to go with the parents. I’d choose teenager if we’re talking about myself and my friends, but most teens are crazed little troublemakers.

26). Inoffensive vs. Funny: Funny. Yes, I do believe you can rarely not offend and be funny, and I like to think of myself as a generally humorous individual!

27). Townie vs. Carnie: Townie. Get out of our towns, carnies!

28). Pearls vs. Diamonds: Diamonds. Personally, I don’t see the value of pearls. I get that it is a rare species, but to me, diamonds have much more worth (they’re a girl’s best friend - what can I say?) and look much more beautiful. Some would disagree.

29). Missionary vs. Doggy-Style: Missionary. I get the whole rave about sexual expeditions and spicing up the bedroom, and I’m all for that, but doggy is a liiiittle too weird for me.

30). Knight vs. Peasant: Peasant. I like the simple folk and don’t believe in fairytales.

Remember this: none of my answers are intended to offend. Vs. encourages quick judgment and stereotyping to answer questions without spending a dragged out amount of time contemplating whether an orange is better than an apple!
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This is part of the mini-series “A Realization of Life and its Quirks”. Read the rest here…